What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?
![What Stories Do You Tell Yourself? What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?](https://fearlessprojectmanagement.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/chalkboard-croppedjpg-250x137.jpg)
Do you talk to yourself? When I talk to myself, I know someone is always listening. This is true for all of us. When we tell ourselves stories, our unconscious believes us, even the bad stuff.
Do you remember the movie, Pretty Woman, with Julia Roberts? In one of the bedroom scenes, the wealthy businessman, played by Richard Gere, tells Vivian that she is talented and smart. She responds, “it is easier to believe the bad stuff”. Isn’t that the truth?
For most of is, it is the truth. Why is that? Why is it easier to listen to the “bad“ stuff?
According to researchers, we have “negativity bias”. That means that we pay more attention to negative experiences to avoid danger and stay safe. Negativity bias enabled our original ancestors to find food, to make shelter and to keep the tribe safe.
Today, life is full of challenges but we will never experience the real dangers our Neanderthal ancestors faced every day. Yet, we still hold onto the bad stuff as if it is more important than the good. And when we rerun those bad experiences, life becomes a lot more challenging.
The Real Effects of Negative Thinking
The influence of negative thoughts is far-reaching. There’s no part of your life that escapes. It affects you mentally, emotionally, and physically. It limits your ability to achieve and to enjoy life. There are reasons why pessimists are so miserable.
Other effects that negative thinking has on your life:
- It has a negative impact on your mood and outlook on life. Negative thinking feels bad. Thinking negative thoughts can make you feel sad, afraid, angry, hopeless, and negative in general. These emotions taint the way you view the world and have a deleterious effect on your ability to make wise decisions.
![kostroma-cropped Negative thinking inhibits your ability to achieve goals. For any objective, you have things pulling you toward your goal and other things pushing you away. When you think negative thoughts about achieving a goal, you’re much less able to accomplish it. This negativity bias is so powerful that we will do anything to avoid the pain of the past rather than move towards an exciting future. So we stay stuck and rerun those old stories to justify our inaction. Imagine you’d like to take a trip to Hong Kong. This has always been a goal of yours. But then you start thinking about it: “It’s so far away, the jetlag will be awful. I’ll probably spend half of the trip just recovering. “The language is so different from English. How will I manage?”](https://fearlessprojectmanagement.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/kostroma-cropped.jpg)
- Negative thinking inhibits your ability to achieve goals. For any objective, you have things pulling you toward your goal and other things pushing you away. When you think negative thoughts about achieving a goal, you’re much less able to accomplish it.
- “It’s so far away, the jetlag will be awful. I’ll probably spend half of the trip just recovering.
- “The language is so different from English. How will I manage?”
- “I’ve heard Chinese prisons are the worst in the world. What if I break some weird law I don’t even know about?
- “I should spend the money on something else. Besides, I’ll lose money on the currency exchange.”
All of a sudden, that dream trip to Hong Kong doesn’t sound so dreamy anymore. Negative thinking makes every goal seem harder than it really is.
The effects of our negative thinking are pervasive. They influence your entire life. In addition to keeping you stuck, there are some very real and very physical consequences.
More Negative Effects
Other consequences that limit your freedom and your life include:
- It’s damaging to your health. The stress caused by negative thinking is horrible for your health.
- It lowers your self-esteem. When you think you’re ugly, stupid or not good enough, you can’t feel very good about yourself.
- It reduces your confidence. Negative thoughts about yourself lower your self-confidence. Negative thoughts about others make you less confident in their abilities. Your negative thinking can impact everyone around you.
- It saps your energy. Negative thinking is exhausting and saps your resources.
Retrain Your Brain
![mindset on transparent What old stories are you telling yourself? Is it saying that the world is not safe and will never get back to normal? Are you telling yourself that your team will get reassigned, the project will not get completed, or missing the timeline will affect your job? Are you rerunning your mistakes over and over in your head? Luckily, there are ways to limit your negative thoughts and bring in positivity each day. Here’s how. Check yourself throughout the day and listen for negative thoughts and stories. Use a timer and perform a check every 15 minutes. Check yourself during your regular daily activities like lying in bed, in the shower, during breaks and lunch, and so on.](https://fearlessprojectmanagement.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/mindset-on-transparent.png)
- Is it saying that the world is not safe and will never get back to normal?
- Are you telling yourself that your team will get reassigned, the project will not get completed, or missing the timeline will affect your job?
- Are you rerunning your mistakes over and over in your head?
- Check yourself throughout the day and listen for negative thoughts and stories. Use a timer and perform a check every 15 minutes. Check yourself during your regular daily activities like lying in bed, in the shower, during breaks and lunch, and so on.
- When you notice a negative thought, change it to one that’s more positive. For example, you can change the thought, “I hate waiting in lines.” to “Waiting gives me the chance to add my to-dos to that new app I just downloaded.” and “I can find that great podcast I was listening to yesterday.”
- Get into the habit of thinking positive thoughts. Before doing any task, take 15 seconds and think a few positive thoughts about it. The task will be easier and more enjoyable.
- Spend more time with positive people. It’s unlikely that you’ll rise far above the people you spend the most time with. Ensure that the people around you are positive.
Reducing the incidences of negative thinking is one of the most effective ways to spend your time and enhance your life. Negative thoughts can harm your happiness, success, and health. Spend time to ensure that your thoughts are supportive and positive and turn your life around.